Have you ever been so overwhelmed with anger, frustration and or exhaustion that when someone shares their opinion or direction that is opposite to yours, it suddenly is the straw that breaks the camel’s back? You feel this warmth coming over your body, the head starts to gently spin, than a warm sensation fills your eyes. Oh shit, I am about to start the waterworks, get out of public view, stat! Without any sense of control, your emotions escalate and you find yourself sobbing quietly in the work rest room. In that moment, you question why you are here, crying, letting work get you this physically upset. Than the self-talk kicks in, pull your shit together, you are better than this, stop crying and just get the job done, tomorrow is a new day. You stand up, wipe your eyes, shake it off and walk back out to your desk. So why do we experience this uncontrollable outburst? It may not be waterworks and sniffles; it can even be the other extreme where you find yourself bellowing at someone, screaming things you should not do so in public, little own in a workplace.
Most times, it is not that actual opinion or action that has caused you to feel such intense emotions but more so several events in the lead up to that particular moment. It can be a combination of stressful situations or challenging moments, sleep deprivation, personal matters and external pressures like deadlines or a helicopter manager that get us to that breaking point. If we do not manage these stressful times, it can lead an individual to burn out. According to Psychology Today there are several signs that you should watch for that can suggest you are on the path of burning yourself out, these include but are not limited to:
- Insomnia.
- Forgetfulness/ decreased concentration and attention.
- Chronic fatigue.
- Increased illness.
- Anger.
- Anxiety.
- Loss of Appetite.
- Physical changes (blood pressure, headaches and skin changes).
If you find you are experiencing these on a regular basis, you should not ignore them and listen to your body. It is a strong signal that you need to take a step back and allow the mind and body to recharge.
In an ideal world, whenever we get extremely stressed, a relaxing holiday or day of “me time” would be fantastic however with the pressures to live comfortably, provide for the household/family and or fear of job loss, finances etc. that is not always an option. So what can you do to try alleviating some of the pressure before you get to the end of your tether and have that silent sob in the work bathroom, explode with outrage in a work meeting or arrive home barking orders at your family members? Firstly, we are all only human and we all have different breaking points so it is important that you listen to your body and mind when feeling stressed, and if you yourself struggle to identify signs you are displaying, it is than possible that your partner or colleges may have observed some behaviour changes. If they have, they may be asking if you are ok? In that case, ask yourself “Am I ok?”
So you have identified you are stressed, how do you calm yourself? You may find your emotions heightening, at that time perhaps excuse yourself and try one of the following:
- A short gentle walk by yourself outside in the fresh air may help you to pause and reset yourself. Exercise releases endorphins (they trigger our positive feelings in the body).
- Listening to music via your headphones can assist in blocking out noises/ conversations around you that inhibit your ability to focus. Music in general can positively influence mood, so some tunes that make you feel good, or focused are great to have on hand.
- Take ten minutes to catch up with a close college, enjoy a coffee at the café or even just a cup of tea in the kitchen. Talking through things with friends can assist you in feeling not so alone in a stressful situation and potentially open your mind to other methods of completing the task you had not yet thought of.
- Taking 5-10mins to do something you enjoy or are simple tasks. Stop the stressful task for a moment to enjoy some ‘quick-win’ moments to help you feel more on top of things.
Sometimes, although these tips may help us get through that moment, we still may find ourselves quite stressed and emotional at the end of the day. Some may go home angry and frustrated whilst others exhausted and emotional. If this is the case than perhaps you need to address the issues causing this. If it is a momentary experience due to the deadline at work that is pressing, perhaps plan a small reward for yourself come the end of that deadline. A weekend away, a nice dinner with friends, a massage, or a treat for yourself in whatever you enjoy (reading, shopping, sports, adventure etc.). Additional recommendations that you should consider during times are stress are to make sure you look after your health. Avoid skipping meals, keep hydrated, take vitamins where necessary and any medication a professionals have advised. Regularly participate in exercise; even a 20 min light walk is beneficial for the mind and body and lastly find something you enjoy that you can do often and easily to help you always take your mind off the stressful events.
Remember stress it part of all of our lives but it is how you manage the situations around you that determine how it will affect you. Should you experience ongoing stress and symptoms of burn out on a continuous basis than you could consider speaking with a professional who can assist you in working through the challenging times.
Always Glo and you will succeed.
K.